Perspective makes all the difference to a story – here’s an alternative view of our adventures on Sunday night.
Bruce (of Bruce’s Taxis) brought us home from the hospital, sun shining, radio playing, all well with the world. Turns out my Grandma was right – things always look less scary in the daylight.
Doctor Dave (a very suntanned version of the Swedish Chef from the Muppets) had prodded me, held my hand reassuringly and told me that these things happen to middle aged women, not to worry unless I fainted again, Happy Holidays…… off he wandered spreading good cheer throughout A&E.
The two hours before that are a bit foggy – machines that went beep waking me up each time I dozed off. The nurses were great – lots of admiration for my accent and my frilly cotton nightie. I think we all decided I was going to be ok when they offered me the alternative of removing my nightie myself or having it cut off me so they could put me in a puce-coloured hospital gown.
On balance I suspect ambulances are more fun riding up front than in the back. Roy was playing with sirens, I was in the back being hooked up to yet more machines and watching the road disappear behind me.
My husband is my hero. He sat calmly while alarming machines beeped, heart monitors flashed, needles were inserted and removed, blood pressure rose and fell then rose again. He gathered together clothes so that I didn’t have to come home in my nightie. He remembered that it’s 911 in the US instead of 999. He chatted with the Sheriff about college football / baseball (we realised afterwards that the Law were there in case he was a wife-beater). He even found me some clean underwear so that I was carried out to the ambulance with some modesty intact.
The medics were fantastic – only in Florida would they describe the ride on the trolley / chair as being better than Disney because there was no queue.
All in all, my advice would be: when you get up in the middle of the night, do it slowly; when you feel dizzy, sit down before you fall down; if you do fall down, do not under any circumstances stand up again by yourself – it is the second fall that does the damage. If you decide to ignore all of the above then make sure you are in paradise, where your recuperation can include sunset walks on the beach, time by the pool and gentle bike rides.